When conversations get hard-What's Your Gremlin?

Quiz Questions

• 1.
  When you're about to face a difficult conversation do you feel

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  • A.
    Activated, like you're ready to take on anyone who disagrees with you
  • B.
    Anxious, like you want to manage any conflict that comes
  • C.
    Pensive, wondering what the expert answer would be
  • D.
    Determined, like you're going to make the other person understand
• 2.
  When the other person immediately voices their concerns/complaints

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  • A.
    You start building your case for why they'd agree with you if they just understood
  • B.
    You think of an influencer's three tips for conflict
  • C.
    You feel yourself starting to agree with their position
  • D.
    You've already got a counter ready for every point
• 3.
  The other person asks you for your response to their concerns

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  • A.
    You agree with them and tell them you'll work on improving things.
  • B.
    You tell them all the ways they're wrong.
  • C.
    You start pointing out your best evidence that you're right
  • D.
    You cite to an author or podcast host who's said what you want to say.
• 4.
  You feel your body reacting to the stress.

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  • A.
    You search your mind for the nervous system tips you heard on the podcast that morning
  • B.
    Your inner voice starts coaching you to stay strong and hold your ground
  • C.
    Your hands turn to fists and your voice raises
  • D.
    You just want the tension to stop, even if that means backing down
• 5.
  The difficult conversation is over and you're driving home.

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  • A.
    You're replaying the exchange, still fired up and ready to make your case again
  • B.
    You're worried the other person is upset with you now
  • C.
    You're already searching for the next book, podcast, or expert who can tell you what to do differently
  • D.
    You're planning to reach out again so they can finally understand your side

Quiz Outcomes

• 1.
  The Fighter

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  When conflict shows up, you meet it head-on — fast, sharp, and ready to win.You don't back down. You counter every point, you hold your ground, and you leave the conversation still fired up, already replaying your best lines. On the surface, that looks like strength. And sometimes it is.But here's the shadow side: winning the argument isn't the same as being chosen. People don't promote, hire, or champion the person who makes them feel like they lost. The Fighter gets respect in the room — and gets quietly avoided when the next opportunity comes up.The shift: Learning to advocate without needing to conquer. Conviction that doesn't require a casualty.In a few minutes you'll get an email with 3 episodes of The Elegant Warrior podcast picked specifically for Fighters. Enjoy!
• 2.
  The Seeker

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  When conflict shows up, you go looking for the right answer — just not inside yourself.You've read the books. You've heard the podcast episode. You know what the expert said to do. And still, in the moment, you freeze — because you're waiting for permission from a framework instead of trusting what you already know.The cost: you have more conflict resolution content in your head than almost anyone in the room, and you still walk away feeling like you didn't handle it right. That's not a knowledge gap. That's a trust gap.The shift: You don't need one more book. You need to trust the expertise you already have.In a few minutes you'll get an email with 3 episodes of The Elegant Warrior podcast picked specifically for Seekers. Enjoy!
• 3.
  The Hero

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  When conflict shows up, you go into mission mode — determined to make the other person finally understand.You build your case. You gather your evidence. You're calm, composed, and utterly convinced that if you just explain it well enough, they'll see it your way. It's not combative. It's conviction — and it's often mistaken for confidence.The cost: you're spending your energy trying to change someone else's mind instead of asserting your own position and letting it stand on its own. Being right isn't the same as being chosen.The shift: Stop focusing on being the hero and start focusing on being the guide.In a few minutes you'll get an email with 3 episodes of The Elegant Warrior podcast picked specifically for Heroes. Enjoy!
• 4.
  The Pleaser

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  When conflict shows up, your first instinct is to make it stop — even if that means making yourself smaller.You agree faster than you mean to. You worry about whether the other person is upset with you. You'll offer to "work on it" before you've even decided if you were wrong. It feels like keeping the peace. It's actually surrendering your position before anyone asked you to.The cost: every time you back down to ease the tension, you teach the room that your position is negotiable — even when it shouldn't be. That's not likability. That's invisibility with good manners.The shift: Learning that holding your ground doesn't have to feel like conflict at all.In a few minutes you'll get an email with 3 episodes of The Elegant Warrior podcast picked specifically for Pleasers. Enjoy!