Are my child's tough behaviors developmentally normal or potentially problematic?

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Quiz Questions

1.
My child's energy level ramps up before bedtime, making bedtime routine really tough.
- A.
  Never
- B.
  Sometimes
- C.
  Often
- D.
  Always
2.
My child will sit, listen, and engage with me while reading a book,
- A.
  We aren't really a book reading family.
- B.
  No, my child has no attention span for this.
- C.
  We can get through half a book, with difficulty.
- D.
  One book at bedtime.
- E.
  They love books and we read several in a row.
- F.
  They will sit on their own and look at books.
3.
If my child needs my attention and I cannot give it right away, they will begin to yell or scream, with growing intensity.
- A.
  It's happened before, but not often.
- B.
  Yes, this is very normal for my child.
- C.
  YES! To the point I am exasperated.
- D.
  No. This isn't a problem.
4.
My child wakes up during the night needing me.
- A.
  Rarely, if ever.
- B.
  Sometimes
- C.
  About once per night.
- D.
  Multiple times per night.
- E.
  They sleep in our room with us, but we like it that way.
- F.
  They sleep in our room with us, but we wish it were different.
5.
If I tell my child "no" they accept it.
- A.
  Not always, but in general they accept my "no."
- B.
  They struggle with this one, but we're learning.
- C.
  They tend to try to negotiate or bargain and get whiney.
- D.
  "No" often means temper tantrums.
- E.
  "No" can mean violent or out of control tantrums.
- F.
  I'm afraid to tell my child "no."
6.
My child struggles with containment. They will not stay in their bed or crib, I cannot keep them in their room for time out, they will not sit on my lap, they will not stay where I have asked them.
- A.
  Not really
- B.
  Yes, but it's not blatant refusal or disobedience. They just cannot focus and have a lot of energy.
- C.
  Sometimes
- D.
  Often
- E.
  I cannot contain my child at all.
- F.
  My child has been known to run out of the house without permission, away from me in public, or even into the road.
7.
My child throws toys or belongings.
- A.
  No.
- B.
  Yes, it happens, but not a lot and they respond to redirection.
- C.
  They love throwing things and will laugh and smile. It's really just silly.
- D.
  Most of the toys in our house are broken.
- E.
  Yes, they throw things at people when they are angry.
- F.
  Yes, to the extent it has become really problematic.
8.
My child has been known to hit or pull on me when I am in the middle of a conversation with someone else.
- A.
  Yes. All the time. I feel like I cannot talk to anyone without being interrupted.
- B.
  Yes. I feel like as soon as my attention is directed elsewhere, it upsets my child.
- C.
  Yes. They've done this, but not often.
- D.
  No. This isn't a problem.
9.
My child uses oral stimulation for comfort.
- A.
  They are constantly chewing or sucking on something like their shirt, their hair, or a toy.
- B.
  I find them with random objects, or trash, or who knows what in their mouth.
- C.
  They grind their teeth when upset.
- D.
  We have had trouble with them biting other kids.
- E.
  They bite me sometimes. Not necessarily when they are really angry.
- F.
  It's normal for them to bite me so hard, they break the skin.
- G.
  No, this isn't really a thing for my child.
10.
My child is into everything.
- A.
  If it's closed, they open it. They are naturally curious.
- B.
  Yes, to the point I feel like there are no boundaries. They are always in my things, pulling things out of cabinets, siblings feel frustrated.
- C.
  My child does not sit still for any period of time. They move through toys and activities in seconds or minutes. Their hands touch everything and are into everything.
- D.
  No, this isn't a problem.
11.
As a parent, I feel helpless to my child's behavior. Nothing I try seems to work.
- A.
  Never
- B.
  Rarely
- C.
  Sometimes
- D.
  Often
- E.
  Every day. I'm exasperated.
12.
My child lies.
- A.
  No
- B.
  Rarely, but it happens.
- C.
  Often
- D.
  I'm concerned they don't know what truth is.
- E.
  Yes, but I feel like it's just their imagination getting the better of them.
- F.
  My child will hold onto their lie, like their life depends on it. Even when it's obvious we both know they're lying.
13.
My child struggles with transitions.
- A.
  Asking them to move from whatever they are doing to something else, quite often starts big emotions.
- B.
  If I give them a five-minute warning, it helps.
- C.
  They'll beg and plead for more time to the point I give in.
- D.
  When I ask them to come, they don't hear me or ignore me.
- E.
  Any time I ask them to do something they don't want to do, they absolutely lose it.
- F.
  No, this isn't a big problem.
14.
My child's behaviors embarrass or are difficult for me in public.
- A.
  Sometimes my kid gets out of control in public and it's hard on me.
- B.
  I cannot take them anywhere. It's just too rough.
- C.
  We cannot even get out in public. Just the mention of it starts tantrums and big emotions.
- D.
  My child has huge social anxiety or social resistance issues.
- E.
  I have been told or can see that my child's behaviors disturb others.
- F.
  I don't feel safe taking my child in public.
- G.
  No. This isn't a problem.
15.
As a parent, I feel out of control.
- A.
  Not really
- B.
  Sometimes
- C.
  Often
- D.
  Always, and I'm starting to really break down or have moments of panic. (This can on its own be cause for concern.)
16.
I get calls from school/daycare about academic or behavioral concerns...
- A.
  Not really
- B.
  Every once in a while
- C.
  Fairly often
- D.
  It's getting critical.
- E.
  My child was asked to withdraw or moved to an alternate setting.
- F.
  My child is not in school or daycare.
17.
My child struggles to make or keep friends.
- A.
  Sometimes
- B.
  Yes, but I think it is just because they are quiet or introverted.
- C.
  Yes, I think they are quiet or introverted, but I am starting to worry.
- D.
  They are under the age of 4. Cooperative and parallel play aren't really a thing yet.
- E.
  Play/interaction can easily turn into fighting.
- F.
  My child is constantly having drama or difficulty with friends.
- G.
  My child feels like no one likes them.
- H.
  Sometimes my child is labeled as mean or controlling.
- I.
  This is not a problem for my child.
18.
I feel disconnected from my child.
- A.
  No, not really.
- B.
  Yes, if I'm honest.
- C.
  Sometimes
- D.
  Yes, very much so.
- E.
  I can connect with some of my kids, but I really struggle with one in particular.
19.
When disciplining my child, I feel defeated.
- A.
  Sometimes I feel this way.
- B.
  No, I don't feel this way.
- C.
  What's the point of trying again? Nothing's working.
- D.
  They just laugh at me when I try to discipline.
- E.
  They tell me, "It doesn't matter."
- F.
  My child is more often in discipline than they are not being disciplined.
- G.
  Discipline? I can't even get past the tantrums and outbursts.
- H.
  There are no consequences that seem to work anymore.
20.
Sibling relationships in our family...
- A.
  Does not apply. We only have one child.
- B.
  are fairly strong. But they do fight at times.
- C.
  are often stressed.
- D.
  There are days where the fighting gets out of control.
- E.
  Fighting seems to be the only way they relate to each other.
- F.
  Fighting can get violent or end in blood.
- G.
  Honestly, my child has so many difficult behaviors, I feel bad for the other child or children in my home.
- H.
  My children can barely be around each other.
21.
I find myself completely shutting down or yelling at my child.
- A.
  not really
- B.
  sometimes
- C.
  often
- D.
  almost all the time
22.
I feel like my child cannot function without me.
- A.
  Not really
- B.
  Sometimes
- C.
  I am constantly reminding or giving commands over and over.
- D.
  They cannot complete a task or do their homework unless I'm there.
- E.
  My child clings to me and has trouble leaving my side.
23.
When my child tantrums they end up hurting themselves or others.
- A.
  No. If it happens it's only by accident.
- B.
  Yes, but it's minor because they just get so upset and can tend to run or bump into things.
- C.
  Yes, they hit or throw things.
- D.
  Yes, they can resort to scratching, pinching, hitting or shoving in ways that cause wounds or broken skin. (This behavior can be considered serious on its own, without other problematic behaviors.)
- E.
  My child has a tendency to beat their head or other body parts repeatedly against an object or wall. (This behavior can be considered serious on its own, without other problematic behaviors.)
24.
My child is highly stubborn and can dig in, refusing to do what I ask.
- A.
  Never
- B.
  Sometimes
- C.
  Often
- D.
  Always
- E.
  They don't necessarily refuse, but they can get sneaky or act like they aren't capable to the point where it becomes very difficult to get follow through.

Quiz Outcomes

1.
Your child's behavior seems fairly typical.
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We're not seeing a pattern that suggests concern, but no quiz has all the answers. Reaching out is free and you're here for a reason. If something doesn't feel quite right in your gut, we'd love to help you brainstorm new tools to support your parenting needs. Visit www.childinsight.org/services for more information.
2.
Hmmm, there are a few concerns worth noting.
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The behaviors you noted don't give us a huge amount of concern, but it seems like you may be facing bigger behaviors and bigger stressors as a parent than we'd like. We'd love to talk and brainstorm new ideas and tools that can support your parenting.Visit www.childinsight.org/services for more information.
3.
Uh oh. It looks like we might have some potentially problematic behaviors.
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Though not diagnostic, your answers give us some level of cause for concern. While this can be hard to hear, we also hope it's validating. You don't have to continue to face the stress of this alone. We've worked with hundreds of families, helping them to feel healthier and happier at home. We'd love to talk about how we can best support you and your child.Visit www.childinsight.org/services for more information.