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What's your attachment style?

From secure to fearful-avoidant, take this two-minute quiz to discover your true attachment style (aka. how you bond with your friends, family, and signifigant other)!

Quiz Questions

  • 1.
    You feel confidant communicating your personal boundaries...
    • A.
      Yes! If someone crosses one of my boundaries, I usually let them know...
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure, Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant)
    • B.
      No! I rarely confront people...  Even if they are making me uncomfortable.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied, Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)
  • 2.
    Your significant other gets a text but won't tell you who it's from, what do you do?
    • A.
      I change the subject like it's no big deal, but, inside, all my alarm bells are ringing.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied)
    • B.
      I ask them why they are acting so secretive. If they've got nothing to hide, they should just tell me...
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)
    • C.
      I respect their choice. They have a right to their privacy, and I trust their judgement.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure)
    • D.
      I wait until they leave to use the washroom then check their phone. I won't be left out of the loop!
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant)
  • 3.
    Your partner brings up a mental health-related issue they've been facing, how do you react?
    • A.
      I feel my anxiety levels rise, take a few deep breaths, and do my best to listen.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)
    • B.
      I hear them out, let them know that I love them no matter what, and encourage them to seek professional help.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure)
    • C.
      I tell them that whatever they need, they can always count on me – I'm available 24/7.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied)
    • D.
      I ask them to give me a second, run to the washroom to gather myself, then return and listen to whatever they have to say.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant)
  • 4.
    You expect the worst to happen in your relationships...
    • A.
      Yes! It's better to expect the worst than be taken by surprise when it happens, which it usually does...
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant, Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied, Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)
    • B.
      No! Pessimism is a burden to any relationship. What's the point in trying if you already know how it'll end?
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure)
  • 5.
    You feel responsible for your significant other's safety...
    • A.
      Yes! It's my job to protect them and ensure no harm comes their way.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied, Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)
    • B.
      No! Of course I want them to be safe, but it's not my responsibility.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure, Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant)
  • 6.
    Can I trust you with my secrets?
    • A.
      Uhm, you might be better off spilling your secrets to someone with tighter lips...
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied)
    • B.
      Heck yeah! If you've got something to say, I'm here to hear it. And not tell anyone.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure)
    • C.
      Honestly, I'd rather not know the nitty-gritty details of your life. We haven't even met...
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant)
    • D.
      Yes, please tell me your secrets – I definitely won't use them as blackmail later on...
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)
  • 7.
    You and your significant other are in a heated argument, how do you repair the disharmony?
    • A.
      I apologize for hurting their feelings, calmly explain my perspective, then we work together towards a resolution.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure)
    • B.
      I beg them not to hate me – seriously, I'll do whatever it takes! I can't handle the thought of losing them.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied)
    • C.
      I tell them I can't take their drama, then I grab my jacket and hit the road. Maybe time apart will help us cool off.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant)
    • D.
      I throw a glass of water at them then immediately start apologizing and telling them how much I love them.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)
  • 8.
    How do you feel when your friends and family tell you they love you?
    • A.
      It makes me feel a bit nervous – they must have an ulterior motive.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant)
    • B.
      I feel content! I love my folks, and they love me!
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure)
    • C.
      It calms me down and reassures me. Sometimes I wonder if they secretly can't stand me...
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied)
    • D.
      I feel confused... Maybe a bit happy, maybe a bit scared.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)
  • 9.
    Your significant other leaves for a buisness trip, how do you react?
    • A.
      I hold back my tears while saying goodbye, but as soon as their taxi pulls away, I start sobbing.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied)
    • B.
      I wish them the best! I'll miss them for the couple days they are gone, but we'll be together again soon.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure)
    • C.
      Honestly, I'm annoyed. They should've told me about the trip sooner, so I could've come along...
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)
    • D.
      I make a point of not texting them. I don't want them to know how much I miss them when they leave.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant)
  • 10.
    You feel relaxed around your friends and family...
    • A.
      Yes! If anything, hanging out with my friends and family calms me down.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Secure, Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied)
    • B.
      No! You never know what could happen, so my defences are usually up.
      (Correlates to: Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant, Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant)

Quiz Outcomes

  • 1.
    Your attachment style is... Secure
    Congrats, friend – by completing the "What's your attachment style?" quiz, you've shown your commitment to building healthy, happy relationships 🙌Based on your responses, your attachment style is secure. So what does that actually mean? You're comfortable both on your own and with others, and while you enjoy sharing quality time with friends and family, you don't depend on them for your own wellbeing...In romantic relationships, you are confident in yourself. You don't worry about rejection or lose yourself in your partner's personality. You know your boundaries and how to express them without coming off cold.No matter what your attachment style is, there's always room to improve. With a little help, you can learn to listen, communicate, and create your best connections yet."The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz3 tips for building and keeping healthy relationships...1) Don't be afraid to disagreeJust because you are intimate with someone, doesn't mean you have to agree on everything. Instead of bottling up your anger, it's always healthier to talk it out. On top of that, by expressing your emotions, you are giving the other person a chance to change their behavior – no brawling necessary.2) Keep up with your own interestsEspecially for those with anxious-preoccupied attachments styles, it can be tempting to take up your partner's interests and, in the process, lose your own. This might end up putting an unhealthy amount of pressure on the relationship. Plus, keeping up with your own interests and friend groups will enrich and add versatility to your time together.3) Practice Open CommunicationInstead of counting on your significant other's mind-reading capabilities, try telling them directly what you want and need. While this might feel a bit awkward at first, practice makes perfect. On top of that, communicating your expectations will encourage your partner to do the same.Want to be friends? Let me introduce myselfHey there, and welcome – I'm Lily Jamieson 👋 I'm an expert relationship coach and counsellor based in Boston, MA. I'm here to help you and your significant other overcome whatever struggles may be sinking your ship. Whether you argue over even the smallest of snags or your communication has hit the rocks, we can find a solution that works.Looking for a little extra guidance? Check out these 3 free resources1) Listen to this episode of my podcast. I ask psychologist Anna Clarkson how to create authentic connections. If you want to ensure your significant other feels seen, this is for you!2) Follow me on Instagram. I post my tips for building healthy, happy relationships. Connection, communication, and collaboration? I've got you covered 🙌3) Book a free 15-minute consultation with me. If you can't wait another day to start transforming your relationship, book a time for us to chat! You've got nothing to lose, friend.P.S. Expect to see me in your inbox ASAP with more tips for your attachment style!
  • 2.
    Your attachment style is... Dismissive-Avoidant
    Congrats, friend – by completing the "What's your attachment style?" quiz, you've shown your commitment to building healthy, happy relationships 🙌Based on your responses, your attachment style is dismissive-avoidant. So what does that actually mean? You may be uncomfortable with closeness, and you prefer spending quiet time alone over visiting with friends and family.In romantic relationships, you may struggle to trust your partner. Rather than fearing rejection, you might actually welcome it, as you value independence and freedom over all else and don't want anyone holding you back.No matter what your attachment style is, there's always room to improve. With a little help, you can learn to listen, communicate, and create your best connections yet."The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz3 tips for building and keeping healthy relationships...1) Don't be afraid to disagreeJust because you are intimate with someone, doesn't mean you have to agree on everything. Instead of bottling up your anger, it's always healthier to talk it out. On top of that, by expressing your emotions, you are giving the other person a chance to change their behavior – no brawling necessary.2) Keep up with your own interestsEspecially for those with anxious-preoccupied attachments styles, it can be tempting to take up your partner's interests and, in the process, lose your own. This might end up putting an unhealthy amount of pressure on the relationship. Plus, keeping up with your own interests and friend groups will enrich and add versatility to your time together.3) Practice Open CommunicationInstead of counting on your significant other's mind-reading capabilities, try telling them directly what you want and need. While this might feel a bit awkward at first, practice makes perfect. On top of that, communicating your expectations will encourage your partner to do the same.Want to be friends? Let me introduce myselfHey there, and welcome – I'm Lily Jamieson 👋 I'm an expert relationship coach and counsellor based in Boston, MA. I'm here to help you and your significant other overcome whatever struggles may be sinking your ship. Whether you argue over even the smallest of snags or your communication has hit the rocks, we can find a solution that works.Looking for a little extra guidance? Check out these 3 free resources1) Listen to this episode of my podcast. I ask psychologist Anna Clarkson how to create authentic connections. If you want to ensure your significant other feels seen, this is for you!2) Follow me on Instagram. I post my tips for building healthy, happy relationships. Connection, communication, and collaboration? I've got you covered 🙌3) Book a free 15-minute consultation with me. If you can't wait another day to start transforming your relationship, book a time for us to chat! You've got nothing to lose, friend.P.S. Expect to see me in your inbox ASAP with more tips for your attachment style!
  • 3.
    Your attachment style is... Anxious-Preoccupied
    Congrats, friend – by completing the "What's your attachment style?" quiz, you've shown your commitment to building healthy, happy relationships 🙌Based on your responses, your attachment style is anxious-preoccupied. So what does that actually mean? You crave closeness, and when you don't get it you might become a little nervous and overcompensate.In romantic relationships, you go above and beyond to please your partner... even if that means occasionally crossing your own boundaries. You may also lose yourself in relationships by adopting the other person's personality.No matter what your attachment style is, there's always room to improve. With a little help, you can learn to listen, communicate, and create your best connections yet."The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz3 tips for building and keeping healthy relationships...1) Don't be afraid to disagreeJust because you are intimate with someone, doesn't mean you have to agree on everything. Instead of bottling up your anger, it's always healthier to talk it out. On top of that, by expressing your emotions, you are giving the other person a chance to change their behavior – no brawling necessary.2) Keep up with your own interestsEspecially for those with anxious-preoccupied attachments styles, it can be tempting to take up your partner's interests and, in the process, lose your own. This might end up putting an unhealthy amount of pressure on the relationship. Plus, keeping up with your own interests and friend groups will enrich and add versatility to your time together.3) Practice Open CommunicationInstead of counting on your significant other's mind-reading capabilities, try telling them directly what you want and need. While this might feel a bit awkward at first, practice makes perfect. On top of that, communicating your expectations will encourage your partner to do the same.Want to be friends? Let me introduce myselfHey there, and welcome – I'm Lily Jamieson 👋 I'm an expert relationship coach and counsellor based in Boston, MA. I'm here to help you and your significant other overcome whatever struggles may be sinking your ship. Whether you argue over even the smallest of snags or your communication has hit the rocks, we can find a solution that works.Looking for a little extra guidance? Check out these 3 free resources1) Listen to this episode of my podcast. I ask psychologist Anna Clarkson how to create authentic connections. If you want to ensure your significant other feels seen, this is for you!2) Follow me on Instagram. I post my tips for building healthy, happy relationships. Connection, communication, and collaboration? I've got you covered 🙌3) Book a free 15-minute consultation with me. If you can't wait another day to start transforming your relationship, book a time for us to chat! You've got nothing to lose, friend.P.S. Expect to see me in your inbox ASAP with more tips for your attachment style!
  • 4.
    Your attachment style is... Fearful-Avoidant
    Congrats, friend – by completing the "What's your attachment style?" quiz, you've shown your commitment to building healthy, happy relationships 🙌Based on your responses, your attachment style is fearful-avoidant. So what does that actually mean? You long for intimacy, but it makes you uncomfortable, so you may hold yourself back because you are scared of being hurt.In romantic relationships, you may struggle to trust your partner and seek constant confirmation of their love. If the other person doesn't understand your attachment style, they might see your behavior as needy.No matter what your attachment style is, there's always room to improve. With a little help, you can learn to listen, communicate, and create your best connections yet."The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in." — Morrie Schwartz3 tips for building and keeping healthy relationships...1) Don't be afraid to disagreeJust because you are intimate with someone, doesn't mean you have to agree on everything. Instead of bottling up your anger, it's always healthier to talk it out. On top of that, by expressing your emotions, you are giving the other person a chance to change their behavior – no brawling necessary.2) Keep up with your own interestsEspecially for those with anxious-preoccupied attachments styles, it can be tempting to take up your partner's interests and, in the process, lose your own. This might end up putting an unhealthy amount of pressure on the relationship. Plus, keeping up with your own interests and friend groups will enrich and add versatility to your time together.3) Practice Open CommunicationInstead of counting on your significant other's mind-reading capabilities, try telling them directly what you want and need. While this might feel a bit awkward at first, practice makes perfect. On top of that, communicating your expectations will encourage your partner to do the same.Want to be friends? Let me introduce myselfHey there, and welcome – I'm Lily Jamieson 👋 I'm an expert relationship coach and counsellor based in Boston, MA. I'm here to help you and your significant other overcome whatever struggles may be sinking your ship. Whether you argue over even the smallest of snags or your communication has hit the rocks, we can find a solution that works.Looking for a little extra guidance? Check out these 3 free resources1) Listen to this episode of my podcast. I ask psychologist Anna Clarkson how to create authentic connections. If you want to ensure your significant other feels seen, this is for you!2) Follow me on Instagram. I post my tips for building healthy, happy relationships. Connection, communication, and collaboration? I've got you covered 🙌3) Book a free 15-minute consultation with me. If you can't wait another day to start transforming your relationship, book a time for us to chat! You've got nothing to lose, friend.P.S. Expect to see me in your inbox ASAP with more tips for your attachment style!