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What’s your self-sabotage specialty?

Most of us have sneaky little habits that hold us back and trip us up. Take this not at all uncomfortable quiz to find out what you do to derail yourself from achieving your goals – how you can call yourself on your own BS – and get out of the way of your own success!

Quiz Questions

  • 1.
    It’s time to start a new task. What’s your first step?
    • A.
      No need to rush! There’s plenty of time! Besides, there’s a new show I want to binge watch first...
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Procrastination!)
    • B.
      First things first, panic. Make sure you have all your pens lined up and Post-It’s ready to go, because this is A. Big. Deal. Everything needs to be perfect.
      (Correlates to: Your Self Sabotage specialty is… Perfectionism! )
    • C.
      If it’s a group project, I better take the reins. Experience has taught me that I can’t trust others to do their jobs, so even though my coworkers are pretty great, I can’t leave them without some micromanaging.
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage Specialty is… Cognitive Dissonance!)
    • D.
      Another task? Yeah, sure I can totally do that! Just as soon as I’m done with all these other things on the list...
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Overcommitting! )
  • 2.
    You’re about to start a new job. How do you feel heading in on the first day?
    • A.
      Sometimes I wonder how I manage to fit in a full time job with all my volunteer work and mile long To-Do List!
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Overcommitting! )
    • B.
      I picked out the perfect outfit, and even baked a tray of treats for everyone, including low sugar and gluten free options for everyone. I can’t wait to get my desk perfectly organized. A place for everything and everything in its place, right?
      (Correlates to: Your Self Sabotage specialty is… Perfectionism! )
    • C.
      I’m not going to get too excited or stressed until I meet my team. It’s a good time to sit back and observe my surroundings. The lazy and untrustworthy ones show their true colors eventually.
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage Specialty is… Cognitive Dissonance!)
    • D.
      A little bit stressed because I waited ‘til the last minute to pick out an outfit and then I couldn’t find anything, and once I did pick something out, I accidentally spilled coffee on it as I was running out the door, and then I had to stop for gas on the way because I left it for this morning...
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Procrastination!)
  • 3.
    Which movie makes you feel a little called out?
    • A.
      Black Swan. The demanding world of elite ballerinas drives one swan’s perfectionism over the edge, as she toes the line between mastery and madness.
      (Correlates to: Your Self Sabotage specialty is… Perfectionism! )
    • B.
      Adaptation. Nick Cage writes a script about him procrastinating on writing and adaptation of another script.
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Procrastination!)
    • C.
      Yes Man. Jim Carrey leads this comedy about saying yes to every opportunity that comes along – and how finding a balance between what you want to do and what you have to do is most important.
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Overcommitting! )
    • D.
      10 Things I Hate About You. Kat swears she’s off men for good. They’re horrible, manipulative, horny good-for-nothing man-boys, and she doesn’t need them! But then Patrick Verona takes the stage to sing for her heart – and show her she might need to rethink her bias.
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage Specialty is… Cognitive Dissonance!)
  • 4.
    Have you ever sought help to figure out the things that hold you back?
    • A.
      Why? Do you know someone who can help? I’m all ears!
      (Correlates to: )
    • B.
      I have a few friends that I can count on to ground me when I’m out of control.
      (Correlates to: )
    • C.
      Me? No, I’m doing fine. Perfect, actually.
      (Correlates to: )
    • D.
      I’ve reached out to a counselor or two. I can’t seem to figure it out on my own, and I’m tired of getting in my own way.
      (Correlates to: )
  • 5.
    You’re in the Self-Help section of your local bookstore. Which title grabs your attention?
    • A.
      The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoy Guilt-Free Play
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Procrastination!)
    • B.
      Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage Specialty is… Cognitive Dissonance!)
    • C.
      Overcommitted: How to Cut Chaos and Find Balance
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Overcommitting! )
    • D.
      How to Be an Imperfectionist
      (Correlates to: Your Self Sabotage specialty is… Perfectionism! )
  • 6.
    How much do you know about self-sabotaging traits?
    • A.
      Honestly, not that much. Is that like not tying your shoelaces before a race?
      (Correlates to: )
    • B.
      I know a lot. I just don’t know how to make the right changes to overcome them.
      (Correlates to: )
    • C.
      I think other people self-sabotage. I’m doing just fine. #noreally
      (Correlates to: )
    • D.
      I’ve been on a path to identify my own toxic traits for quite some time now. Can you help?
      (Correlates to: )
  • 7.
    Who is your celebrity doppelganger?
    • A.
      Martha Stewart. She not only has her own super successful show, she also hangs out with Snoop Dogg and finds time to pen pal with some of her old prison buddies. #QueenBusyBee
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Overcommitting! )
    • B.
      Rihanna. She’s notoriously late for things, and usually shows up with wine in a stolen glass. #LifeGoals
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Procrastination!)
    • C.
      Nicolas Cage. The man once sold his entire Superman collection because they didn’t cast him as the Man of Steel, even though he doesn’t have a Kryptonian jawline. #LiveYourTruthNick!
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage Specialty is… Cognitive Dissonance!)
    • D.
      Serena Williams. She’s the GOAT of tennis, ladies or mens, and she honed her amazing skills through hours of gruelling drills and courtside study. #praticemakesperfect
      (Correlates to: Your Self Sabotage specialty is… Perfectionism! )
  • 8.
    If you could go back and tell your younger self anything about the things you struggle with now, what would it be?
    • A.
      Nobody can do everything all the time. Breathe in. Breathe Out
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Overcommitting! )
    • B.
      Just because your best friend hurt your feelings in second grade doesn’t mean all your friends are waiting to devastate you. You can trust again.
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage Specialty is… Cognitive Dissonance!)
    • C.
      Finished, not perfect. Repeat until it sinks in.
      (Correlates to: Your Self Sabotage specialty is… Perfectionism! )
    • D.
      Getting started is half the battle.
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Procrastination!)
  • 9.
    Which song could be your anthem?
    • A.
      “Perfectionist” by Will Jay. “I spent my whole life trying to be perfect.”
      (Correlates to: Your Self Sabotage specialty is… Perfectionism! )
    • B.
      “The Lazy Song” by Bruno Mars. “Today I don’t want to do anything.”
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Procrastination!)
    • C.
      “Taking Care of Business” by BTO. “Taking care of business and working overtime.”
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Overcommitting! )
    • D.
      “Blame it on the Rain” by Milli Vanilli. “Whatever you do, don’t put the blame on you.”
      (Correlates to: Your Self-Sabotage Specialty is… Cognitive Dissonance!)

Quiz Outcomes

  • 1.
    Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Procrastination!
    Are you always racing the clock? Do you ride the edge of tension with deadlines and social engagements? Do you tell yourself you perform better under pressure? Chances are pretty good your self-sabotage specialty is procrastination.Don’t feel bad, every single human on the planet struggles with this at some point.When you feel overtired, stressed, and mentally drained, the last thing you want to do is finish your homework, pack for your trip, or clean the whole house – so you put it off until later.But eventually, later becomes now, and sometimes, it even becomes too late.But when you find that later is always finding you with too much left to do, all the time, then it’s time to look to the root of the problem and figure out why you always wait until the 11th hour to get things done.Because research has shown that people who describe themselves as chronic procrastinators, also reveal higher levels of stress, anxiety, and even depression.So if you find yourself always giving into the lazy meh feeling of putting off the things you know you’re going to eventually have to do anyways, the time is now – not later – to uncover why you keep leaving things your current self doesn’t want to do, and let them pile up so your later self still has to do them, only with less time.Because that leads to feelings of failure and inadequacy when you can’t complete the task well, and the results are unhappy and less than ideal.Leading to you not wanting to do the next task that comes along, because you didn’t do so hot on the last one. See that self-fulfilling cycle ready to repeat itself?Luckily, there are some ways to retrain yourself from procrastinator to proactivator.1. Recognize when you’re procrastinating – If you start an important task, only to stop immediately for a coffee break, or put off doing something until you feel motivated to do it, or even pack your schedule with other easier but less important tasks that you’d rather do… then you’re procrastinating.2. Dig deep to figure out WHY – Dreading something because it’s hard work or not fun isn’t the real reason why you keep putting off the things you need to do. If you’re avoiding a task because you aren’t organized, then it’s time to look at organization strategies.If you put things off because you’re afraid you won’t finish them perfectly, it’s time to look at the self-sabotaging beliefs behind perfectionism. Remember – Finished is always better than Perfect.If you’re afraid that completing a job successfully will only come with the reward of more hard work and the expectations that come with success, then you need to look at why that success scares you.3. Work on Anti-procastination – First, forgive yourself for your previous procrastination patterns and work towards the Get It Done mentality that will help you overcome them.Commit to your tasks, create accountability by sharing your schedule with others and encourage them to check in on your progress, and set up a reward system for when you’ve completed something in a timely fashion.Who doesn’t love a decadent treat when they’ve done a Grown-Up job?Of course, the easiest way to not put things off is to do them as soon as they hit your To-Do list. Turn off all distractions and knuckle down by telling yourself that you choose to do it now, instead of you have to do it eventually. Give yourself power over the task, and crush it – before the deadline.“A day can slip by when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.” — Bill WattersonSelf-Sabotage Counter-Attack!If you want to stop the self-sabotage and finally get out of your own way, the key is to understand why you’re doing it — what need is it filling?Then apply a little creativity to identify healthier, happier, and more productive ways to meet those needs.Here’s a simple guide to help you begin the journey of rewriting your self-sabotaging programming:The cure is Self-Awareness1. Inventory – Reflect back and get curious about your own self-sabotage. What does your self-sabotage look like?How does it typically start?Are there any unhealthy patterns?By taking the time to reflect and notice any repeating patterns, you can more easily recognize when it’s time to take over and kick those traits to the curb. You can then take a moment to pause and get familiar with what’s happening in your mind and body – what’s triggering them, and how it feels physically.Check out our YouTube video on the Top 7 Self-Sabotage Traits That Hold You Back.2. Challenge – Once you’ve spotted your self-sabotaging habits, it’s time to challenge what they’re actually doing for you.If you want to stop procrastinating, you first need to realize that it’s helping you deal with your own fear of success. If you want to stop over committing, you need to recognize that it fills your need to feel useful by ignoring your own needs.So ask yourself what your self-sabotaging habits ‘do’ for you – and then do the harder work of uncovering some underlying issues that you need to work through. Childhood trauma, feelings of inadequacy, even a pleasant life without challenges to build resilience can all lead to self-sabotaging behaviors.Check out our worksheet Why Do I Do This? And How Can I Stop?3. Create a new pattern – This is the fun part where you get to choose your next adventure!Once you’ve spotted your negative self-sabotaging habits and rooted out the cause of them, you can do the fun work of making a new pattern, one that serves your end goals and helps you grow with confidence and healing.Think about who you really want to be – and start aligning your actions to that potential. Use affirmations to help ease your negative self-talk, so the next time you find yourself turning to your old self-sabotaging ways, you can confidently choose your new, self-affirming solutions.Download our helpful list of Self-Affirmations to Help You End Self-Sabotage.Most importantly, be compassionate. Old habits die hard and you will most likely find yourself falling back into old patterns. Just stop, recognize that you’re trying, and remind yourself of why these patterns didn’t actually work for you before – then give yourself the opportunity to do better.This work takes time, and sometimes you need outside help to guide you down the path. Reach out to a qualified therapist or counselor to help you overcome your harmful self-sabotaging ways. We have many available who are fully trained in trauma a self-sabotage healing. Book a consult to find the right fit for you.Self-Sabotage EspionageHey there, self-saboteur! I'm Niles Frasier, life coach, licensed counselor, and trauma specialist, owner of Self Aware, an academy created to help people who struggle to understand why they do the things they do.In my 15 year practice as a counselor, I found that many of my patients suffer from the same self-limiting beliefs and repeatedly engage in the self-harm that comes from self-sabotage.I decided it was time to focus on these issues and created a wellness center around the foundations of radical self-awareness, gathering experts in leadership, coaching, and mentorship, to help others unlock their potential.Check out our articles in “Self” magazine, and tune into our guest spot on the “Inner Power” podcast.Challenge Your Ways!Check out these helpful resources to help you ditch your self-sabotaging ways!1. Follow us on Instagram. From helpful tips and mindset hacks, to mindfulness reels and Q&A Lives, @SelfAware is an interactive resource to find compassionate help as you discover your happiest, healthiest self.2. Listen to my Podcast interview on “Inner Power” where I share my passion for helping people unlock their potential best.3. Want guidance on how to rewrite your patterns and build awareness? Book a consultation with me. We’ll not only assess your own self-sabotaging habits, we’ll look at the beliefs that brought you to them – and find better ways together.Get To Know YourselfNow that you've got some insight into how you’re holding yourself back, keep an eye on your inbox for a Self-Sabotage Counter Attack Strategy based around your quiz results.Over the next week, I'll share with you more positive pattern building tips and tell you more about how to create a powerful recipe for personal success.“Self-destruction and self-sabotage are often just the start of the self-resurrection process.”― Oli Anderson
  • 2.
    Your Self-Sabotage Specialty is… Cognitive Dissonance!
    Life often throws us curve balls, and sometimes the crappy ones are the ones that form our deepest beliefs. But sometimes, things come to challenge those hard programmed beliefs and we tell ourselves lies so that we can hold onto our often pessimistic, self-limiting beliefs. Thus, we have the Joys of Cognitive Dissonance.For example, if someone you trust lies to you early in life, it can be easy to believe that everyone will lie, even though later life experience shows you that there are lots of beautifully trustworthy people out there.It seems more comfortable for you to believe they will eventually lie to you so that you’ll be ready when you’re disappointed by their eventual and inevitable betrayal.I don’t think it’s hard to see why this is self-sabotaging.By constantly believing that others will lie to you, let you down, and betray you, you keep yourself from ever truly trusting anyone, and rob yourself of healthy, meaningful connections.Likewise, at work, if you see others as incapable of doing their own work, regardless of seeing their own proficiency, you’ll never be able to relax and enjoy the hard work of a team that is qualified and trusted to do a job without constant micromanaging.And those beliefs are internalized, too.When you’ve failed even though you tried hard, it can be easy to believe that you will ALWAYS fail, no matter how hard you try, even though repeated success shows you’re capable of not failing. So why bother trying?When you keep selecting the option of NOT believing what you see in reality, you get to keep our old, comfortable beliefs… but at what costLuckily, there are steps you can take to overcome cognitive dissonance.1. Safety – you have to dig deep and find the courage to believe that it’s SAFE to challenge your own limiting beliefs.2. Work – you have to work hard to overcome those crappy beliefs when reality shows you that they’re wrong.Yes, you have to admit that you were wrong.But the beautiful thing about admitting you were wrong is you can step into the light of truth and accept a better reality.3. Reconciliation – once you can reconcile the reasons behind your previous limiting beliefs, you can address the uncomfortable insecurities that they were hiding.Was it lack of trust that stopped you from believing your team wouldn’t let you down?Was it fear of success that kept you from believing you wouldn’t fail?In the end, the formula for overcoming cognitive dissonance is:Baby Steps + Courage + Deliberate & Uncomfortable Action.“People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character.” — Ralph Waldo EmmersonSelf-Sabotage Counter-Attack!If you want to stop the self-sabotage and finally get out of your own way, the key is to understand why you’re doing it — what need is it filling?Then apply a little creativity to identify healthier, happier, and more productive ways to meet those needs.Here’s a simple guide to help you begin the journey of rewriting your self-sabotaging programming:The cure is Self-Awareness1. Inventory – Reflect back and get curious about your own self-sabotage. What does your self-sabotage look like?How does it typically start?Are there any unhealthy patterns?By taking the time to reflect and notice any repeating patterns, you can more easily recognize when it’s time to take over and kick those traits to the curb. You can then take a moment to pause and get familiar with what’s happening in your mind and body – what’s triggering them, and how it feels physically.Check out our YouTube video on the Top 7 Self-Sabotage Traits That Hold You Back.2. Challenge – Once you’ve spotted your self-sabotaging habits, it’s time to challenge what they’re actually doing for you.If you want to stop procrastinating, you first need to realize that it’s helping you deal with your own fear of success. If you want to stop over committing, you need to recognize that it fills your need to feel useful by ignoring your own needs.So ask yourself what your self-sabotaging habits ‘do’ for you – and then do the harder work of uncovering some underlying issues that you need to work through. Childhood trauma, feelings of inadequacy, even a pleasant life without challenges to build resilience can all lead to self-sabotaging behaviors.Check out our worksheet Why Do I Do This? And How Can I Stop?3. Create a new pattern – This is the fun part where you get to choose your next adventure!Once you’ve spotted your negative self-sabotaging habits and rooted out the cause of them, you can do the fun work of making a new pattern, one that serves your end goals and helps you grow with confidence and healing.Think about who you really want to be – and start aligning your actions to that potential. Use affirmations to help ease your negative self-talk, so the next time you find yourself turning to your old self-sabotaging ways, you can confidently choose your new, self-affirming solutions.Download our helpful list of Self-Affirmations to Help You End Self-Sabotage.Most importantly, be compassionate. Old habits die hard and you will most likely find yourself falling back into old patterns. Just stop, recognize that you’re trying, and remind yourself of why these patterns didn’t actually work for you before – then give yourself the opportunity to do better.This work takes time, and sometimes you need outside help to guide you down the path. Reach out to a qualified therapist or counselor to help you overcome your harmful self-sabotaging ways. We have many available who are fully trained in trauma a self-sabotage healing. Book a consult to find the right fit for you.Self-Sabotage EspionageHey there, self-saboteur! I'm Niles Frasier, life coach, licensed counselor, and trauma specialist, owner of Self Aware, an academy created to help people who struggle to understand why they do the things they do.In my 15 year practice as a counselor, I found that many of my patients suffer from the same self-limiting beliefs and repeatedly engage in the self-harm that comes from self-sabotage.I decided it was time to focus on these issues and created a wellness center around the foundations of radical self-awareness, gathering experts in leadership, coaching, and mentorship, to help others unlock their potential.Check out our articles in “Self” magazine, and tune into our guest spot on the “Inner Power” podcast.Challenge Your Ways!Check out these helpful resources to help you ditch your self-sabotaging ways!1. Follow us on Instagram. From helpful tips and mindset hacks, to mindfulness reels and Q&A Lives, @SelfAware is an interactive resource to find compassionate help as you discover your happiest, healthiest self.2. Listen to my Podcast interview on “Inner Power” where I share my passion for helping people unlock their potential best.3. Want guidance on how to rewrite your patterns and build awareness? Book a consultation with me. We’ll not only assess your own self-sabotaging habits, we’ll look at the beliefs that brought you to them – and find better ways together.Get To Know YourselfNow that you've got some insight into how you’re holding yourself back, keep an eye on your inbox for a Self-Sabotage Counter Attack Strategy based around your quiz results.Over the next week, I'll share with you more positive pattern building tips and tell you more about how to create a powerful recipe for personal success.“Self-destruction and self-sabotage are often just the start of the self-resurrection process.”― Oli Anderson
  • 3.
    Your Self-Sabotage specialty is… Overcommitting! 
    If you constantly take on more work than you can handle, always feel stressed by your To-Do list, and constantly feel like not enough butter scraped over too much toast, chances are you’re self-sabotaging by Doing Too Much.When you set yourself up for failure by overcommiting in all the areas of your life, you also set yourself up for feelings of guilt, depression, and Burn Out.Constantly being and doing extra can take a real toll on your mental health.And when you put too much on your schedule, you can be left feeling like an inadequate failure when you can’t finish everything you start.The guilt that comes from carrying around too heavy of a commitment load will often find you saying ‘yes’ when someone asks you to add ‘just one more thing’ to your already overladen workload.It makes it almost impossible to establish and enforce healthy personal boundaries and can eventually lead to Burn-Out.When you always put yourself last, you make your stress worse. And too much stress = increased cortisol levels = inflammation and weakened immune system.Yes, you can overwork yourself into sickness.So how does a chronic people-pleasing overcommitter take back control of their life and set healthy boundaries?1. Think back. Take stock of all the things that have piled up on your To-Do List, especially the things that ended up on there that really shouldn’t have.2. Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself why those things ended up there. Was it because you felt guilt if you said no? Was it to please someone else? Did it stem from insecurity? Recognize any unhealthy patterns and forgive yourself.3. Make a new commitment… to do less. Remove anything from the list that really doesn’t serve you, or costs you too much in peace of mind to accomplish realistically. Create some healthy boundaries around your commitments, like no more volunteer work until you take some time for your own self-care first."The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything." — Warren BuffetSelf-Sabotage Counter-Attack!If you want to stop the self-sabotage and finally get out of your own way, the key is to understand why you’re doing it — what need is it filling?Then apply a little creativity to identify healthier, happier, and more productive ways to meet those needs.Here’s a simple guide to help you begin the journey of rewriting your self-sabotaging programming:The cure is Self-Awareness1. Inventory – Reflect back and get curious about your own self-sabotage. What does your self-sabotage look like?How does it typically start?Are there any unhealthy patterns?By taking the time to reflect and notice any repeating patterns, you can more easily recognize when it’s time to take over and kick those traits to the curb. You can then take a moment to pause and get familiar with what’s happening in your mind and body – what’s triggering them, and how it feels physically.Check out our YouTube video on the Top 7 Self-Sabotage Traits That Hold You Back.2. Challenge – Once you’ve spotted your self-sabotaging habits, it’s time to challenge what they’re actually doing for you.If you want to stop procrastinating, you first need to realize that it’s helping you deal with your own fear of success. If you want to stop over committing, you need to recognize that it fills your need to feel useful by ignoring your own needs.So ask yourself what your self-sabotaging habits ‘do’ for you – and then do the harder work of uncovering some underlying issues that you need to work through. Childhood trauma, feelings of inadequacy, even a pleasant life without challenges to build resilience can all lead to self-sabotaging behaviors.Check out our worksheet Why Do I Do This? And How Can I Stop?3. Create a new pattern – This is the fun part where you get to choose your next adventure!Once you’ve spotted your negative self-sabotaging habits and rooted out the cause of them, you can do the fun work of making a new pattern, one that serves your end goals and helps you grow with confidence and healing.Think about who you really want to be – and start aligning your actions to that potential. Use affirmations to help ease your negative self-talk, so the next time you find yourself turning to your old self-sabotaging ways, you can confidently choose your new, self-affirming solutions.Download our helpful list of Self-Affirmations to Help You End Self-Sabotage.Most importantly, be compassionate. Old habits die hard and you will most likely find yourself falling back into old patterns. Just stop, recognize that you’re trying, and remind yourself of why these patterns didn’t actually work for you before – then give yourself the opportunity to do better.This work takes time, and sometimes you need outside help to guide you down the path. Reach out to a qualified therapist or counselor to help you overcome your harmful self-sabotaging ways. We have many available who are fully trained in trauma a self-sabotage healing. Book a consult to find the right fit for you.Self-Sabotage EspionageHey there, self-saboteur! I'm Niles Frasier, life coach, licensed counselor, and trauma specialist, owner of Self Aware, an academy created to help people who struggle to understand why they do the things they do.In my 15 year practice as a counselor, I found that many of my patients suffer from the same self-limiting beliefs and repeatedly engage in the self-harm that comes from self-sabotage.I decided it was time to focus on these issues and created a wellness center around the foundations of radical self-awareness, gathering experts in leadership, coaching, and mentorship, to help others unlock their potential.Check out our articles in “Self” magazine, and tune into our guest spot on the “Inner Power” podcast.Challenge Your Ways!Check out these helpful resources to help you ditch your self-sabotaging ways!1. Follow us on Instagram. From helpful tips and mindset hacks, to mindfulness reels and Q&A Lives, @SelfAware is an interactive resource to find compassionate help as you discover your happiest, healthiest self.2. Listen to my Podcast interview on “Inner Power” where I share my passion for helping people unlock their potential best.3. Want guidance on how to rewrite your patterns and build awareness? Book a consultation with me. We’ll not only assess your own self-sabotaging habits, we’ll look at the beliefs that brought you to them – and find better ways together.Get To Know YourselfNow that you've got some insight into how you’re holding yourself back, keep an eye on your inbox for a Self-Sabotage Counter Attack Strategy based around your quiz results.Over the next week, I'll share with you more positive pattern building tips and tell you more about how to create a powerful recipe for personal success.“Self-destruction and self-sabotage are often just the start of the self-resurrection process.”― Oli Anderson
  • 4.
    Your Self Sabotage specialty is… Perfectionism! 
    When you let your need to be perfect keep you from ever properly finishing anything – or worse, keep you from even starting something for fear of not doing it well enough – you’re actually sabotaging yourself.This is a sneaky once because perfectionism is often sold as a fine attention to detail, and who doesn’t want that kind of expert attention?But it can create a crippling fear of imperfection – and that ain’t good.When you put so much emphasis on a perfect result, how do you ever find the motivation to get started?And the negative self-talk that comes with perfectionism is even worse than the pressure of the task itself.Do you constantly put yourself down?Do you pick apart everything you do?Can you let your mistakes go? Or do you replay everything you did wrong, in a horror movie hamster wheel reel of all your past failures?The belief that you need to be perfect, no matter what, can take a serious toll on your mental health, causing depression and low feelings of self-worth and higher feelings of failure.Not to mention, it paralyzes you when it comes time to make any productive steps ahead.But the root of perfectionism is a need for control, which is ironic because it can often remove your control by incapacitating you with fear and hesitation.But there are ways that you can take the reins on your perfectionism…1. Take Stock – Look around and see how others accomplish similar tasks.Are they getting the job done well enough?Does your over-the-top attention to detail really count for much if it takes too much time or keeps you from completing things?2. Relax Your Standards – I’m not saying half-ass everything, but maybe you don’t need to color coordinate your Post-Its or Alphabetize your spice cabinet.Set SMART goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.3. Get Real With Your Expectations – Stop comparing yourself to others and allow yourself some slack when you put pressure on yourself. As long as you’re motivated and doing your best work, you’re doing fine.‘Perfect’ is a harmfully unattainable standard, and you’re just as human and imperfect as the rest of us.Try to focus on finding joy and meaning in the things you do, rather than the perfect result.Lastly, repeat after me, “Finished is better than perfect!” ...because perfect rarely gets finished.“The seed of your next artwork lies embedded in the imperfections of your current piece.” - David BaylesSelf-Sabotage Counter-Attack!If you want to stop the self-sabotage and finally get out of your own way, the key is to understand why you’re doing it — what need is it filling?Then apply a little creativity to identify healthier, happier, and more productive ways to meet those needs.Here’s a simple guide to help you begin the journey of rewriting your self-sabotaging programming:The cure is Self-Awareness1. Inventory – Reflect back and get curious about your own self-sabotage. What does your self-sabotage look like?How does it typically start?Are there any unhealthy patterns?By taking the time to reflect and notice any repeating patterns, you can more easily recognize when it’s time to take over and kick those traits to the curb. You can then take a moment to pause and get familiar with what’s happening in your mind and body – what’s triggering them, and how it feels physically.Check out our YouTube video on the Top 7 Self-Sabotage Traits That Hold You Back.2. Challenge – Once you’ve spotted your self-sabotaging habits, it’s time to challenge what they’re actually doing for you.If you want to stop procrastinating, you first need to realize that it’s helping you deal with your own fear of success. If you want to stop over committing, you need to recognize that it fills your need to feel useful by ignoring your own needs.So ask yourself what your self-sabotaging habits ‘do’ for you – and then do the harder work of uncovering some underlying issues that you need to work through. Childhood trauma, feelings of inadequacy, even a pleasant life without challenges to build resilience can all lead to self-sabotaging behaviors.Check out our worksheet Why Do I Do This? And How Can I Stop?3. Create a new pattern – This is the fun part where you get to choose your next adventure!Once you’ve spotted your negative self-sabotaging habits and rooted out the cause of them, you can do the fun work of making a new pattern, one that serves your end goals and helps you grow with confidence and healing.Think about who you really want to be – and start aligning your actions to that potential. Use affirmations to help ease your negative self-talk, so the next time you find yourself turning to your old self-sabotaging ways, you can confidently choose your new, self-affirming solutions.Download our helpful list of Self-Affirmations to Help You End Self-Sabotage.Most importantly, be compassionate. Old habits die hard and you will most likely find yourself falling back into old patterns. Just stop, recognize that you’re trying, and remind yourself of why these patterns didn’t actually work for you before – then give yourself the opportunity to do better.This work takes time, and sometimes you need outside help to guide you down the path. Reach out to a qualified therapist or counselor to help you overcome your harmful self-sabotaging ways. We have many available who are fully trained in trauma a self-sabotage healing. Book a consult to find the right fit for you.Self-Sabotage EspionageHey there, self-saboteur! I'm Niles Frasier, life coach, licensed counselor, and trauma specialist, owner of Self Aware, an academy created to help people who struggle to understand why they do the things they do.In my 15 year practice as a counselor, I found that many of my patients suffer from the same self-limiting beliefs and repeatedly engage in the self-harm that comes from self-sabotage.I decided it was time to focus on these issues and created a wellness center around the foundations of radical self-awareness, gathering experts in leadership, coaching, and mentorship, to help others unlock their potential.Check out our articles in “Self” magazine, and tune into our guest spot on the “Inner Power” podcast.Challenge Your Ways!Check out these helpful resources to help you ditch your self-sabotaging ways!1. Follow us on Instagram. From helpful tips and mindset hacks, to mindfulness reels and Q&A Lives, @SelfAware is an interactive resource to find compassionate help as you discover your happiest, healthiest self.2. Listen to my Podcast interview on “Inner Power” where I share my passion for helping people unlock their potential best.3. Want guidance on how to rewrite your patterns and build awareness? Book a consultation with me. We’ll not only assess your own self-sabotaging habits, we’ll look at the beliefs that brought you to them – and find better ways together.Get To Know YourselfNow that you've got some insight into how you’re holding yourself back, keep an eye on your inbox for a Self-Sabotage Counter Attack Strategy based around your quiz results.Over the next week, I'll share with you more positive pattern building tips and tell you more about how to create a powerful recipe for personal success.“Self-destruction and self-sabotage are often just the start of the self-resurrection process.”― Oli Anderson